Learning about advocates

We believe that community provides invaluable resources, especially in times of difficulty. We believe that struggles should be shared, not hidden. Therefore, we require those coming for counseling to bring a friend who will support you during the counseling process.

We call this friend "ADVOCATE."

  • I Have been asked to be an advocate - what is next?

    What an exciting opportunity! We are glad that you are considering to be an advocate.

    If you have been asked to be an advocate by someone but you have not received an email, you can simply fill out the form at the link below.

    Fill out the Advocate Application.

    If you would like more information about advocacy, just keep reading on this page or check out the links right here:

    If you would like to know more about what it is to be an advocate,
    please read the advocate manual.

    To get a fuller understanding of the impact of the role of advocate,
    watch this training video about advocacy.

  • What is an advocate?

    Advocates serve as an important relational bridge in the context counseling. An advocate is a concerned friend, fellow church go-er, small group/life group leader, counselor, or other church leader that comes alongside you in this difficult season.

    This person should be a follower of Christ who knows you, loves you and is eager to help care you. Galatians 6:2 encapsulates it well: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

    Note: while family members can be an option, we would qualify that category as follows:

    • Spouses: We ask your spouse to find a same-gender friend to come alongside them for the counseling retreat and beyond. Your spouse is welcome to attend the retreat but as added support, not as advocate.

    • Parents/Adult Children: Similar to spouses, parents to their children or adult children to their parents typically are not the best choice for advocates. They may attend as added support, but each counselee needs a same-gender advocate.

    The role of the advocate is essential to the type of counseling we do at Twelve Stones.

    We believe that counseling should happen in the context of community and not be an isolated, sterile process (Romans 15:1-2, Philippians 2:1-4).

    The advocate is a natural extension of your existing community, because they know and care deeply for you. We want to leverage that relationship and continue to encourage them in their role as friend, guide, and encourager through your toughest days (Hebrews 3:12-13; 10:24).

    In our experience, the presence of an advocate drastically improves the success of what takes place in counseling. Many times, those is crisis have been isolated from community and advocates help to bring them back into community.

  • What Does An advocate DO?

    PRAY: Prayers leads us to rely on God for openness, wisdom, clarity and lasting change as we seek to bring help to others. Advocates are prayer warriors in the counseling room who stand in the gap for you.

    GIVE INSIGHT: A person in your community who already knows you and understands your current struggle will be able to provide valuable input to the counselor about how you are doing, where you are struggling, etc. Advocates also can help you ask questions you may not feel comfortable asking. So, in every way advocates help us have deeper insights.

    TAKE NOTES: Good notes provide you with tangible reminders of core issues addressed, important principles reviewed, and most importantly, key Scriptures to be meditated on in the days and weeks ahead. Advocates can help take that burden off your shoulders.

    FOLLOW-UP: We encourage advocates to commit to about six months of intentional follow-up with you after your visit at Twelve Stones. We will provide you with a summary and action plan that give you additional guidance and direction. Beyond that, after our time, your advocates can help you get plugged in deeper into your community or reach out to us for additional help and direction.


    As we said above, advocates are part of your existing community. People often ask questions like, "My best friend lives 4 hours away, can they be my advocate?"

    While the short-answer is, "Yes.", it may not be best. We all need people to lock arms with us and support us on a daily basis, especially in tough times.

    Here are some questions to help you discern who to choose:

    • Capacity: Are they willing and able to walk through this process with me?
    • Proximity: Do they live close enough that we can meet regularly in person?
    • Passport: Do I trust them enough that they can tell me some difficult things without that affecting our relationship?

    We are always glad to help you discern who to choose if you are not sure, so please contact us if you need help. Additionally, most of the time, if you don't have a person like that around you, your pastor or other people in your church may be able to help you think of options.